Seems I disappeared for a while. I used this time of isolation to be quiet and create two new books and several paintings. I have recently emerged from my cocoon feeling quite free with loads of energy. Wondering where God will lead me next.
During recent travels I came upon this sign in a diner. I was immediately struck by its truth. There are times when we feel so weak that we stumble, we find it hard to maintain our balance. We may feel lost, we may even move toward despair. But if we kneel – turn to God in prayer- we will find hope. Prayer is intimate connection with the Holy, the ever-present power of love. Kneeling can mean bowing down, recognizing that the controlling power resides not in us but in God. In That humbling of ourselves we come to see the loving, guiding hand that keeps us going. The hand that pulls us to our feet and gives us new life, new strength, new hope. Praise God!
This has been such a massive shift in the way we live. I personally am not having that much challenge staying at home. I have been doing most of my work from home for some time. What has changed is the face to face meetings I have with my directees. But thank God for technology. I have been able to meet with everyone online. Now, I am a hugger and that is a big piece of how I care for others. Virtual hugs are okay but nothing like human touch. I am so glad that I am sheltering in place with my family. I pray daily for those who are alone. I contact those I know, just to check in. I would highly recommend that if you know anyone who lives alone call them or send a note. Something to let them know they are really not alone. As this stay to home order goes on, it will become harder. Even though temporary, loneliness can lead to depression and even despair. The term “stir crazy” is going around a lot. I have one acquaintance who was feeling the effects after 2 days TWO days. This morning I asked my husband , “Is it really Friday?” Time seems to be flying by for me.
I have been very busy. I am working and playing and praying. The fear creeps in but I’m accepting it and finding ways to use that energy. I am cooking more, trying to be somewhat creative there so as not to be going out to the store too often. I started writing my blog again, so that’s good I suppose. I’m painting, singing, dancing (seriously, I find myself dancing – maybe it is because I watched “Chicago”), and having conversations with family and friends. It has really been a rich time. I have the luxury of being able to continue to work and have income so I am donating a bit more to those agencies that care for the poor. I am particularly concerned about those who are living on the edge. Unable to live on what they have and so vulnerable in times like this, they need assistance and with social distancing it will be hard to deliver what they need. We will figure out something to help them but it is challenging. Pray for all those trying to maintain assistance programs. Where one door closes, God opens another or a window.
I am not in New York so the worst is yet to come. I just read that there is a poll saying that 9 in 10 persons in the US are heeding the social distancing recommendations. If this is true then that is better than I thought. We may actually be able to make a difference and lessen the severity of this pandemic.
May the God of Abraham hold you in this time of uncertainty and help you to see the positive – the ways in which we humans are able to care for one another. Help us to be the hands and voice of the divine to offer comfort and support to those around us and all over the world through the means available to us. As we stay at home to protect those who must be out, open our hearts to new ways to serve. AMEN
I am staying at home. I can do my work from home and my kids are very concerned for me. Of course I love them for it but it does remind me that I am at an increased risk.
I just found out someone I know has CoVid -19. She’s gotten through the worst and is recovering but as scary as this pandemic is, finding out that it is that close is, well, making it personal.
I was in a webinar with some of our experienced colleagues in Spiritual Direction. One of them was dealing with the disease and spoke freely about the fear. So we talked about how to help our directees deal with the fear. I thought, yes, this is the challenge I face. I am scared for myself, my family, all those away from me and most especially for those without the resources I have. I bring all of this into my sessions with my own clients. I don’t want this state to be my way of being. So I pray. But I am needing to pray more to stay present. To help others deal with this fear, I must deal with it myself..
We must realize that fear is normal and truly a gift from God designed to keep us safe. So we must welcome this fear, name it, allow ourselves to feel it and talk to God about it. It is in this time of prayer where we can give the fear over to God, accept that we are not alone in it and use that energy to move us forward. It helps to say it out loud, too. Talking to someone else can be a release as well.
Just breathing helps. I usually breathe in the Spirit and breathe out what I don’t want. Fear, anxiety, worry, that feeling of helplessness, the knowledge that I don’t have any control. This relaxes you, grounds you, and reminds you that God is present. It makes a difference and you can make choices that are born out of being loved rather than personal angst.
The truth is that fear makes sense in these times but in God there is hope and a way of looking at the world that allows you to use that energy to be part of the positive – be kind, reach out (by phone or letter or social media!) to others. Give a donation to help keep those in need fed, sheltered etc. Breathe and talk to God. Then let fear move you to action.
What a crazy time! Who would have thought? This is a wakeup call. We were unprepared for this and so blindsided by it that many of us didn’t take it seriously. Now we are paying for that lack of respect for a highly contagious, new, unknown virus that has spread throughout the world in less that 3 months time. This is shocking and we in the United States are trying to wrap our heads around how something like this could happen. It spread across all of the United States, 49 states in just a few weeks.
I think the fact that things happened so fast is the most dizzying. We were going along in our usual way, complaining about the government, going out, spending money, watching a healthy economy weather some challenges, just living our daily lives. Then coronavirus. The world as we know it has come grinding to a halt. The market crashed, gatherings were banned, events canceled. We are being confined in the hopes of lessening the burden on those who will offer healing. As we watch the scenario unfold in other places we know it is just a matter of time for us. But we are fighting. We are making it harder for the virus to mass infect. And we have some tools to do that. How many times have we heard “wash your hands”, “don’t touch your face with unwashed hands”, stay away from crowds, don’t form crowds, stay home unless you have to go out, work from home? It is coming. It is serious. It is real. But we can slow it down so it can be manageable.
I am happy that I don’t have to go out. I feel for those who have to work outside their safe haven. But I am grateful to them for doing their jobs. The least I can do is listen and take precautions so that they are not unnecessarily overwhelmed. Each of us can make a difference by taking this seriously and trying to be part of the solution and not the problem. I am staying home until I have to be out for something vital – like an important doctors appointment or to get groceries. But I will try to go out at a time when others won’t be out. Keeping the suggested distance from people, yes, washing my hands.
I find myself checking the map of the virus a couple of times a day. It is surreal watching the numbers climb. It now seems incredulous that anyone thought it could be contained. But they tried. Kudos to them. And now we must do our part.
I am a religious person. I find great comfort in knowing that I have a God who cares. When I start to panic, I go there. I seek the steadfast love of my God who helps me through tough times. I am grateful for my faith. I know this virus is like countless others, part of our world. Most are relatively harmless, some like this are more virulent, and deadly. So this, too, is a part of the human condition. We have been blessed with minds and a creativity that allows us to deal with the situation. We search for and find ways to combat these illnesses. We are also blessed with a sense of community that says we must care for one another and that means doing what is right not just for ourselves but recognizing the repercussions of our actions.
Even with the divisions that have grown in our country. We are coming together as one nation to confront and deal with this threat. We need to learn from this trial and grow a sense of family. Maybe this will remind us that we are a nation of people who have come from all over the world but are Americans. I am thinking that other countries are thinking the same thing. That is when national pride is helpful. We also realize that this is a global problem and that it is bringing us together as humankind. If even for a short time we think about that we might find that we can coexist and be kind to one another. We can see the humanity in each of us all over the world. Perhaps this will change the way we think about our fellow humans. I HOPE.
Wow! 2018 went by fast! It was a busy year with lots of traveling. We experienced weddings, funerals, dealing with unexpected death, and births. I started this post and then never came back. Now 2019 is past and we are well into 2020. When people say time flies, I am understanding it now. I finished my sabbatical and jumped back gingerly into the life of the congregation and am now feeling more connected and useful than before. It is different but so am I. It was somewhat unnerving to make such a shift in thinking about church. I have long been a person who feels that God is with us always and is an active participant in every aspect of our lives, if we open ourselves to that. Up until recently that included the church community as an absolute necessity. Now, I am realizing that there are aspects of “church” that just don’t work for me. It is also true that these things are human additions to the truth of God’s message for us. Now more than ever I am aware that following Jesus is so much more that what the organized institution of church, (church brought to the US by colonization), offers. In some instances the church has distorted what the Way of Christ really is. Unlocking this for myself has been life-giving. It has opened my eyes to the wonder and glory of life in the spirit. More later.
I took a 9 month sabbatical from church. I didn’t go to any other church. I worshipped in other ways. I am refreshed. There is hope and anticipation for the next steps!
This is a reflection on the experience, abbreviated for the purpose of this blog. I will begin with the call I received. No, not a phone call. It was a beckoning, an urging telling me that I needed to get out of the confines of church. I have served in numerous ways in the congregation. Our family life revolved around the church calendar. You can say that I was a very active church member. Yet I found I was no longer connecting with the Holy as I went though the motions. I found myself driving to church and wondering why.
It was about this time that I got the first nudge. Step outside. What? The thought bothered me. What was I thinking? I have been “in church” my whole life. Unlike so many, I never left during my late teens or early adult life. I drew life from my time at church. Then I went to a conference for my ministry, Spiritual Direction . Here were persons from all walks of life gathered to share how they connect with God. I was moved to tears with the way God acts in different people, in different ways. It was an even more profound understanding of God’s movement in the world.
That was when I got the second nudge. Step out of the confines of the building and meet me in the world. Now , I don’t believe that God lives in the church building but I got the sense that the Spirit was trying to move me to something more.
I sat with that a while and got the third nudge, more of a command, come to me! So I listened and told my church I would be taking some time away to find out what the Spirit had to say.
I spent the first few weeks feeling guilty for not being in church. Then, I found God in the singing birds outside my door. I felt that Holy presence as I shoveled snow, as I sat with my husband eating a meal. I knew it was Okay, it felt like sacred time. I found the sacred time baking with my daughter to be a source of light and life. I was worshipping. I spent time in meditation and did some mission work, and painted and wrote.
In this time I learned some things about myself.
* I acknowledged and rejoiced in my Catholic roots. That is where God formed me. I’ve even found some of the traditional prayers to be helpful.
* I realized that the desire to be in church should not be out of duty but out of love. I lost that for a bit and the duty piece took over.
* I found that I am connected to God through the other people in my life and in random contact with strangers.
* I am connected to God through the earth. I am part of the whole of creation and that is why I must love.
* Love is the way to counter hate. I can’t solve the problems of racism, sexism, ageism, homophobia, transphobia, but I can love. Love individuals, love peoples, love the earth, and care for all in my limited way with my gifts.
* When I look for God, I am found. When I turn to God I find that I become aware of the constance of that presence.
* I know more will be revealed in God’s time.
And so I went back to church, renewed and able to serve joyfully again.
I have been in a time of reflection. This age thing had me all tied in knots but after some time away in uninterrupted time with God I have come to understand something very important. We keep thinking about aging as dying and forget about the living part of it. I am alive and I have some living to do.
This got me to thinking about that last post and the final third bit. No wonder I got depressed. That is a really sad way to look at it. To have a more positive attitude I am thinking of the seasons of life. I am in the autumn of life. I love the fall, it is definitely my favorite season. So like fall though things are changing and dying off, there is such beauty in it. There are so many things I like about fall. I’m thinking that this period of my life will be beautiful, creative, and LIVED!
This stage of life is so free, unlike the responsibilities and demands made upon you in the “working years”. This is a time to reap the harvest. To enjoy what you have worked so hard to achieve and share it with others. It took me a while to get here but I am so excited about the next several years. I am seeing the grieving period (loss of youth) as a time of growth for me. Peace!
One very wise woman said to me, “Don’t grow old, I don’t recommend it.” At the time I laughed as I thought she was being funny but now I understand what she meant. As you get older things start to change. You used to need glasses, now you need bifocals or for some trifocals. What a pain trying to read small print! Hearing changes. For me, it has been a challenge distinguishing sounds. If more than one loud stimulus, I can’t process either. For others hearing just goes. Then there are the joints… lost elasticity of skin… memory …
I am not falling apart but I do get what she was saying. We take so much for granted when we are young.
Unless I live to be 130, I am in the last third of my life. This was a bit shocking to realize as I just got used to being 40 recently (or so it seemed). Time does seem to go by faster these days. I remember my mom and dad saying something about that. I don’t mind it but it took me by surprise. There is some joy in attaining a certain age. If you are in decent health you can live with the aging process but you don’t have to like it! Peace!
Hello. I am finally emerging from a place of despair. It has been quite a while since I last posted and the worst possible outcome for the election has occurred. I could not have in my wildest imaginings predicted this outcome.
Our new president is so unfit for office yet a large enough number of people came out and voted for him that we are stuck with him and praying wholeheartedly that he will not destroy the country. I cannot believe that people in the United States would not take the time to vote, would choose not to vote, or honestly thought Donald Trump would be okay in the highest office. So far, he has done some crazy things. He stands for only a few of the people of the country without regard to the rest of us. He even has betrayed those who voted for him.
I was truly in despair for a while but have focussed my energy on forms of resistance, care for others and limiting my “news” input. There is such potential for damaging our country and taking steps backward in our progress. It is encouraging that so many are engaging in peaceful forms of resistance. There is serious dialogue about some of the most important challenges facing our nation. Conversations about race and gender and injustice are far more frequent and meaningful. The election of Donald trump may have in fact exposed some very deep injustices that have up until now been ignored.
The big question now should be what do you want your nation to be? We can be a country which values all of its people or one that continues to enrich a small number at the expense of everyone else. We can be a country that respects human dignity and sees all of its citizens as human beings wanting the same things for themselves and their children or we can continue to dismiss segments of society. We can be a nation that supports a clean green world, even as we have to come to grips with the fact that we are responsible for the state we are in or we can continue polluting and denying the problems. We can honor our constitution and hold that all citizens of the US have rights, including basic needs to support life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness or we can throw it out the window and treat some as expendable to provide a luxurious life for a few.
I would like our country to be a model to the world. We have great resources. We should be a nation that excels in caring for our people. A place where hatred does not exist. We can call others out on human rights violations when we discontinue that here. We are great innovators, producers, manufacturers and developers. We can reach great heights without diminishing others. It would be great to see our economy flourish from bottom to top. If our “poor” are still able to have a decent life, the wealthy can continue to build business and succeed. But until there is no poverty in the U.S. it is sinful for individuals and corporations to amass such wealth as is unusable. True positive Power comes from using wealth to improve the world. Many in power now only horde wealth, or squander it. There is so much potential for the United States. I will continue to pray for a miracle – change of heart so that all people of our nation realize that when all are cared for, all of us benefit. It would be a miracle if each person saw themselves as part of the human family and not as an entitled one. I pray!
A PRAYER FOR OUR NATION
Oh God in Your mercy free us from ourselves.
Let us love. Let hatred leave our thoughts.
Let forgiveness come to us and from us.
Open our hearts wide to embrace rather than shun.
Open our minds to understand that we are all human beings with needs.
Open our hands
To let go of some things that control us and
To grab on to things that make the world a better place
Open our mouths to speak the truth to ignorance and injustice
To give voice to those who currently have no voice
To encourage others to care
To offer words to uplift and support and not diminish or shame
Open our ears and eyes
To see the needs
To hear those who cry out for help
To witness the good in the world and make known the cruelties
To acknowledge and accept people in their desire to live their life freely
O Holy One, give us a sense of self worth that dictates our treatment of others.
Let us live our lives as if we know that each action matters
Let us behave as if every life on earth matters
And Let it explode throughout humanity
AMEN